Don’t shoot the messenger.
“If I didn’t ask for your honest opinion, don’t say anything.”
That was the mindset I always try to keep with my best friends. If they ask me for it, I’ll give them my honest opinion, no matter how hurtful it may seem. But I can’t take it anymore.
Have you ever been in a situation before where your friend is doing something you don’t agree with and you don’t say anything because it might hurt their feelings?
Here’s the truth: If I tell you my honest opinion — I love you.
I went to dinner with one of my friends a few days ago. We talked up a storm. In the middle of our conversation, she shared some gripping news.
It’s one of those situations where someone jumps into another relationship because she’s hurt from the last one. She broke up with her old boyfriend and started dating someone else quickly.
She reassured me that everything’s going well and she showed me pictures of everything they’ve done together.
I asked her if she was happy and she said yes. That’s the most important thing to me. So I left it alone.
There is so much more I could’ve said. But should I?
I tell that story because I’ve lost some friends from voicing my honest opinion. Granted, they didn’t ask for my opinion, but what are friends for?
I don’t understand how we’ve gotten into this weird sensitive dichotomy of saying your honest opinion to a friend means you’re hating. Like, I’m not your friend to kiss your ass. I’m your friend because I want to help you. If you get me as a friend, it comes with the package.
It’s another ongoing cycle of telling them something “negative” and when things don’t work out, that’s another “told you so” moment added to the list.
I’m not a know-it-all, but I have an intuition. I don’t think the relationship will work out.
If someone told me those words, I’d be fine. I’ve had family members tell me how dumb my decisions were to my face. I didn’t get mad. I took it with a smile and saw what happened.
I don’t have to take their advice.
There is a package that comes with a friend. You get love, happiness, excitement, courage, etc. But you also get sadness, anger, and honesty. It’s all or nothing.
It might take time, but I’ve built up a thick enough skin to the point where I can take honest criticism from my friends. I didn’t ask for it. But I listen anyway because at the end of the day I’m grown and I don’t have to take their advice.
You can listen to an opinion, but taking it to heart is your choice.
Just my honest opinion.